Running a business with your other half can pose many challenges, but success stories do exist. This week on SME Experts, our hosts Matt Purcell and Matthew Holland talked to Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Gavin Brown, about how to avoid stress, anxiety and resentment when starting a business with your spouse.

This blog includes:

• The positives of owning/managing a business with your partner
• The negatives of owning/managing a business with your partner
• If you own a business in a relationship, how do you get it right?
• Professional advice from Dr. Gavin Brown

 

Owning and managing a business is a stressful time for anyone. There is a lot of pressure involved and it often becomes too much for people. It’s certainly a significant challenge and this can become even more significant when you mix it with marriage. The financial pressure or just pressure from the business in general can make or break relationships of any kind.

Sadly, there’s a lot of anecdotal evidence that shows entrepreneurs have a higher separation rate than the general community. However, you still see an incredibly large amount of couples going into business together. This could be down to the flexibility and “attractive” lifestyle owning a business seems to promise you. In reality however, a lot of the time, it is not all it’s made out to be.

 

What impacts can it have?

As mentioned previously, being in a relationship and running a business together can be extremely tough. After all, these people are supposed to be the love of your life, yet the stress and pressure of the business can often leave you feeling nothing but resentment towards each other. This usually leads to feelings of resentment towards the business as well.

Of course, this isn’t always the case, and there are a number of couples out there who manage to maintain a successful business, whilst maintaining their relationship. Like the majority of things in life, there are two sides to the dynamics of being in business with your spouse – when it’s going well and when it’s not going well. It can be great, or it can be remarkably difficult.

 

The Positives

On the plus side, partners might appreciate each other more, because they see one another in a work environment and can understand what they do. It is often the case that in a normal relationship, couples struggle to understand what their partner is going through at work because they aren’t in that environment themselves. If you are in it together, you are much more likely to be understanding and appreciative of what your partner does.

As well as this, in many cases, it does allow flexibility with your time, being able to share the workload, responsibility and decision making between the two of you – “Two heads are better than one”.

 

The Negatives

However, when it goes badly, it can be detrimental. Some of the main issues Dr. Brown discusses, is how there can often be power struggles and disagreements with money or responsibility/authority that can cause tension between the couple. There can also be arguments about time management and priorities. All of this can have a negative impact on the business and make other employees feel uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, the success of the business/relationship goes hand in hand with one another. If there are difficulties in the business, it can put a strain on your relationship, just like difficulties within your relationship can put a strain on the business.

 

So, how do you get it right?

It’s all about finding a balance and being able to distinguish between business mode and marriage mode.

When you’re the owner of a business, it can be very hard to find a work/life balance. In many cases, it’s not about having this balance, but more about finding a way of blending the two. Having the idea that it doesn’t have to be a set structure. We all know that owning a business is not your typical 9-5 job, and you will find yourself working ridiculous hours on a regular basis. As a couple, it’s important to make sure you have time with each other outside the business as well.

e.g. If you both work a 12 hour day, ensure you also have a day that you can just spend together, outside of your place of work.

Matt Purcell, who actually owns a business with his wife, explains one method he uses to distinguish between business mode and marriage mode, is having a division when in work. It’s about keeping your relationship separate from your business relationship. He does this by referring to his partner in work, as a manager, rather than his wife.

 

Advice from Dr. Gavin Brown

The most important piece of advice Dr. Brown talks about is making sure you have a relationship plan, as well as a business plan. Ultimately, it’s important to share the same beliefs and values when you’re starting a business.

Why are you doing it? What are you hoping to get out of it? What do you want it to be? These questions need to be discussed openly and honestly in the relationship. If you are both going in with a different idea in your head, you can almost bet that there will be problems with the business.

When problems do arise in the business, it needs to be treated like an invoice or bill, in the sense that the longer you leave it, the worse it will get because of interest rates. How do you resolve things? How do you keep business issues within the business and how do you keep relationship issues out of the business?

To find out more about this topic, be sure to listen to the podcast here: https://www.podcastoneaustralia.com.au/podcasts/sme-experts/in-business-with-your-spous e__yhqNoGxiCU-OsaqKAYptEQ